Dear Blog,
Here I am again complaining about my lost desire for my BF's cock. The truth is I already had a mindset of being single. In fact, I have told him to get the fuck out of my life 3 times already. Instead, he is still hanging around me like a freakin' barnacle and make myself inconvenient. I just hate being in this situation!
How can we get rid of someone that we are not in love anymore? I just cannot being mean all the time so that he would go away. It is really tiring and a waste of energy and plus being mean is just too evil. I am so not evil and never been evil, ever. I am the nice person that normally gets dumped actually but after I caught him lying to me so many times and had some affairs on his Facebook, I already saw the writings on the wall. I just lost my interest on him completely and eventually becoming meaner and meaner each day towards him.
Before, I wasn't that sure whether I love him or not when I said the word L. But now, I know for a fact that I don't love him anymore and saying the word love to him was really a big lie for me. And this really makes me feel guilty especially on my recent birthday he bought me a really expensive present, a Kitchen Aid Mixer. And he was willing to pay a 6-months installment for my Kitchen Aid. WTF! And to put more pressure on me, a Valentine's Day is coming up soon in about a week. Fuck Valentine! Who gives the shit especially when I am not in love with anyone anymore.
I am looking forward to live alone and I have always been independent anyway. I am okay with just me and my cats. Who needs another pet that can talk and cost more money like him? I wish I could just send him to some Humane Society for humans. That would be funny huh! Not really funny to him though!
Another part that really urkksss me is that, my body is completely rejecting his sexual touching lately. Before, I would at least get aroused when he touched me at certain spot or when he rubbed his hard cock on my skin but nowadays I feel really sick when he does that and I really feel like running away from him. I pity him actually.
The thing is, it is really convenient for him to live with me but it is not convenient for me though. I want him out badly or I'll start to fuck around with strangers from Gay Romeo website. Which is worse? I need to pick on an issue that can cause him to leave. But I don't want to be psychotic just because I cannot say. . . . ."I don't love you anymore!" How can I bring strength to myself of saying this horrible bad news to someone?
I have been thinking about this night and day for the past 2 months and I have absolutely no clue what so ever how to tell him to get out of my house. This relationship is like an impulse buying on a very expensive thing from the store and when you got tired of it so quickly the return policy is already expired.
Having a boy friend is not like buying bags from the mall.Come next season I can have a new arm candy and stow away the stale last winter collection.
What should I do? What can I do? What to do?
BOYbum
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