Yummy Bulging Desires

One thing that can make me into a hot pancake on a griddle is nothing more than feasting and lusting over male bulges. Below is some of my favorite bulges of all times in random order.

Goshhhh! I want these so badly.

Aren't they so yummilicious?

BOYbum

My Stupid Valentine

I hate Valentine and actually I don't celebrate this stupid day. Valentine is so overrated! Roses become triple in cost, Hallmark cards becomes more expensive at some stupid stores and restaurants came out with couple's special set menu that cost a lot more than usual and for what?

But to be a sport and to show some "care" towards my BF so I treat him to dinner last Saturday at Chilli's Restaurant and I told him that the dinner was on me for Valentine's Day (2 days ahead of time). I just want to be casual about it and at a very minimal attention. I don't want it to be a big fucking deal because I am so tired of giving away my love and affection and after I got so comfortable with the relationship, my heart got crushed like a bug by someone I trusted(such as my ex-BFs).

So this time around, I am meaner and colder. And last night I gave him a Valentine's Card and I wrote. . . . .

Love comes in many forms.

Love is not just about,

       hugs & kisses

               or

       honesty & respect.

Love is a lot more. . . . .

Love is among other things is also about

         how we care towards each other

                  despite the distractions that take away your eyes

                  away from me. 

Yup! I wrote those stupid words. And WHY??? Because I know somehow that he has wondering eyes and I know that he is also, now more than ever, looking for other that is better than me. I saw the lust in his eyes when he looks at other guys in the gym. And in return I ignore what he was doing and gave him the least attention. And WHY??? Because I don't care whether he wants to stay or to go. For all I care, it doesn't matter anymore.

So in those very words, I told him that I suspect that he has been busy behind my back, especially while at work. And still I truly don't feel jealous or worry or sad. Maybe we will still be together for a long time. Or maybe we should call it a day tomorrow.

I feel my life now is plain and boring. It is all a routine that brings no energy or a spark or adrenaline. No satisfaction but doubts in every step.

So I rather to be nothing at this Valentine.

BOYbum

Massage Parlour Extra Services

Hmmm! What can I say, I love looking at sex porn photos at 4pm in the afternoon when I am bored in the office and got nothing to do. They never fails to get me hard and made me cum in my own office for a quick relieve.

Besides Aspirin can give a quick relieve for our headache, Sex Porn in the afternoon can relieve our over flowing reservoir of cum. You can go home after work looking tired for real this time. Looking at those Asian Masseurs aka SLUT riding their horny male customers' cocks can really hit the spot sometimes and made my day.

Unlike those unfortunate straight men (the poor, the ugly, the hobbits and the fat pigs) who look at these photos and picturing themselves naked fucking these slutty Asian whores, I picture myself as the slutty Asian whore instead. Is that bad?

BTW, did you see those thick huge hard cocks? Which masseur wouldn't slide a piece of hard meat inside her juicy cunt when its right in front of her. I will definitely not waste anymore time pretending that I'm a good slut and all (is there such thing as a good slut???) or because of some stupid work ethic.

Screw work ethic and screw me instead! Hurry up please before your one hour is over!!!

Flaccid Love & Lost Desire

Dear Blog,

Here I am again complaining about my lost desire for my BF's cock. The truth is I already had a mindset of being single. In fact, I have told him to get the fuck out of my life 3 times already. Instead, he is still hanging around me like a freakin' barnacle and make myself inconvenient. I just hate being in this situation!

How can we get rid of someone that we are not in love anymore? I just cannot being mean all the time so that he would go away. It is really tiring and a waste of energy and plus being mean is just too evil. I am so not evil and never been evil, ever. I am the nice person that normally gets dumped actually but after I caught him lying to me so many times and had some affairs on his Facebook, I already saw the writings on the wall. I just lost my interest on him completely and eventually becoming meaner and meaner each day towards him.

Before, I wasn't that sure whether I love him or not when I said the word L. But now, I know for a fact that I don't love him anymore and saying the word love to him was really a big lie for me. And this really makes me feel guilty especially on my recent birthday he bought me a really expensive present, a Kitchen Aid Mixer. And he was willing to pay a 6-months installment for my Kitchen Aid. WTF! And to put more pressure on me, a Valentine's Day is coming up soon in about a week. Fuck Valentine! Who gives the shit especially when I am not in love with anyone anymore.

I am looking forward to live alone and I have always been independent anyway. I am okay with just me and my cats. Who needs another pet that can talk and cost more money like him? I wish I could just send him to some Humane Society for humans. That would be funny huh! Not really funny to him though!

Another part that really urkksss me is that, my body is completely rejecting his sexual touching lately. Before, I would at least get aroused when he touched me at certain spot or when he rubbed his hard cock on my skin but nowadays I feel really sick when he does that and I really feel like running away from him. I pity him actually.

The thing is, it is really convenient for him to live with me but it is not convenient for me though. I want him out badly or I'll start to fuck around with strangers from Gay Romeo website. Which is worse? I need to pick on an issue that can cause him to leave. But I don't want to be psychotic just because I cannot say. . . . ."I don't love you anymore!" How can I bring strength to myself of saying this horrible bad news to someone?

I have been thinking about this night and day for the past 2 months and I have absolutely no clue what so ever how to tell him to get out of my house. This relationship is like an impulse buying on a very expensive thing from the store and when you got tired of it so quickly the return policy is already expired.

Having a boy friend is not like buying bags from the mall.Come next season I can have a new arm candy and stow away the stale last winter collection.

What should I do? What can I do? What to do?

BOYbum

Burglarized

Today is so shit! Again another fucking drama but not literally "fucking"! Nothing related to some male issues but my company was burglarized. It's such shits! Among other things (Laptop, Cameras and Cash) are my most precious Western Digital External Hard-on-Drive that I store all my naked males with monster cocks and lots of gay and straight porn too. But I also store my last 13 years of photos and musics in there as well.

So it's not all about gay and sex in my life. The other 50% of my life is also devoted to surviving in this fucking world and how I can pay the bills every month. It sucks but I wasn't born with a silver spoon and a chauffeur. I was born with a plastic plates with rice and eggs for dinner to survive when I was a kid. God bless my hard working parents. They are the sweetest!

But now I am all spoiled and slightly forgotten who I was and became a Gucci/Armani/Prada worshiper. I am so stupid sometimes. Drooling over something I can't afford and spent on the money I don't own (My Visa).

Back to my reality, I wish I had a threesome with the two married big & tall Policemen that came today. They were so manly and friendly. One of them is slightly tan, 6' tall, in good shape (but no bulge in his blue uniform though, maybe wearing a boxer and has a large hanging balls I imagined) and the other one is about 5' 10" tall, really cute looking, chubby, fair skin and with slightly meatier pinkish cock I imagined.

Either one of them would make my day but of course if those two big and tall comes with a small "screw driver", that will make my problem become worse. After all that shit I went through this morning, the only thing that can make me recover a trauma is 2 Policemen cocks in my mouth. And I cannot stop thinking about it too.

Now I am officially pathetic! I should have written this in the Police report: I am a pathetic lonely bottom longing for an orgy with a bunch of Policemen. Hahahaha!

BOYbum

It's The Weekend Again

I am not excited to look forward for the weekend or the following weekdays either. Maybe I need some time alone or I need to have sex with a stranger. But I definitely don't want to have sex with my BF that's for sure. I have been missing the spark for him. The truth is I lost my interest for him almost a year ago. Nothing I could do about it. Maybe love had died but I kept him for companionship.

I told him to leave me 3 times now over the course of one year but he refused to leave me. Maybe I am his 7-11 Convenient Store I guess for whatever that means; I have been providing him the comfort of living and convenience that normally will cost a bomb. With me it cost him probably an equivalent of a large size freezing Slurpee compared to what I paid every month to maintain my comfortable living.

Shopping is definitely out of the questions now. I shouldn't even go to the mall as I might end up emptied my pocket for some impulse buying of the things I don't need. I can get high and obsess on stupid bags sometimes. Oh well what can I say, I love bags and fashion stuff. Sometimes looking is enough to fill my fashion needs but that's when my pocket was shallow.

Maybe I should give a closer attention to my cats this weekend. Clean their cages, play and love them. What's in it for me though? Some self satisfaction and one less guilty on my list?

Gosh! I am so don't know what to do this weekend.

Gay & His Love

After years of observations, pretty much since 14 years ago when I got my first bareback fuck with an average American cock (6" ish in size), I have realized how gay love are so pretentious and short term. I was in love with that guy for about 3 years then the rest of the 7 years we were together, I became paranoia and slightly on the mental side.

Yup! I became I-don't-trust-you-anymore-you-fuck kind of person. Why? Because I caught him cheated on me when I was giving him my 100%. And then I caught him lying and cheating many more times after that. I let it go and live like nothing happened between us because I was afraid to be single and alone. I didn't believe in myself. I was pretty much just his blow-up doll, all soft and no brain!

I have not met any gay couple  who has been in a relationship more than 10 years and still in love with each other and or coupled till death do them apart. But I have seen so much tears of broken hearts and till another hot stud comes along. Pretty much in gay life the way I know it, it's either the relationship is based on a convenient lifestyles and just a basic companionship or too afraid to be alone or it's kind of "better the devil you know" kind of mindset or  what-the-fuck-ever some twisted reasons.

Why bother to fight with the homo-haters to built some pretentious stupid gay church? Of all things? Are you that shallow that you need a freakin' so called "house of God" to validate your existence in this world? God knows everything He created! If you love each other so much just treat each other right, honest and fair. You don't need a piece of paper with a government stamp on it to prove that you are married and belong to some stupid label or group for recognition (Unless there's a PRADA Gay Community, I might consider! Consider only and not yet enroll!) At least I know that I don't need that shit.

But when I have someone I truly love, I don't want some fruitcake hit on him. At least not in front of my face. I am not possessive but I need some level of respect from people that's all. When I say people it means gay community. As the gay people are so vicious and they are like going to an Italian Branded Warehouse end of year sales; you better grab that Gucci tote bag quickly otherwise some other fashionista will snatch it in a blink of an eye. Make sure to the wolves (vicious hungry for sex gays) in that warehouse that they saw that Gucci (your bf) is already yours at your disposal. They will not attack you or take that tote away from your arms. Get what I mean? Instead they will come at you with a smile and say "you lucky bitch!"

In other words, in a group of gay community, as vicious as a hawk, a boy friend or somebody you are shagging with is just like an expensive Gucci tote, an arm candy. The prettier the arm candy, the more jealous they become and the more you become the talk of the gay town. And as for the lonely but available gay players, they will shove their charms to your arm candy whenever you are distracted. So in other words, there's no such thing as guarantee. Unlike the 70% off Gucci tote, this arm candy is returnable to wherever it came from in the first place. It might be some back alley for all we know!

So you might wanna watch your six 24-7 and do not leave your arm candy unattended in a party or a club or the mall. Yup! You might as well go crazy right? This was what happened to me when I lost my trust to my BF. Although I kept my cool the whole time but I was secretly checking on him the whole time, his pants pockets, bags but not the mobile phone. I thought there should be a privacy limit to what I was doing and clothes were pretty much a general and public area where I could ransack and check every detail with a CSI UV light to check cum stains as well. And plus I voluntarily did all the house chores such as washings clothes among other things. 

You would be surprised what I found in his pockets all those years. Receipts of saunas were among them. And occasionally when I unpacked his suitcase after a business trip to overseas, I also found some strange small sized used tank top with prints of Chinese character on it that was definitely belong to some moldy fruitcake. And of course when I found such hard evident, confrontation and interrogation were in order.

But I failed most of the time or gave up on it. The most I could get to scare him was when I thew a freaking plastic chair at him (Plastic chair is cheaper, light and unbreakable) or threaten to kill myself or more like pretending to kill myself. I was so pathetic!

So there, is gay love worth the fight? I don't think it's even real but solely based on sexual need. I figure after several years, give and take 2 years, the sex between a gay couple generally already crashing down the chart like a Boeing out of fuel. Gay love is almost like a joke in one of those funny Pam Ann's show. At least I can still laugh at her jokes whenever I play her in my iPod Touch. But my real life is not so much anymore.

The thing about love is, to keep it real love is something we give and not something we expect to get. And we must be happy on our own first before we can become happier with another. Love is a precious feeling that you keep between you and your love one. You don't need to show the whole fucking town how much in love you are, wearing the same striped tank top, with matching hats and shoes and holding hands while you were at it inside Crabtree & Evelyn looking for some not-so-cheap everyday shower gel and hand cream. Urrkkhhh! Vomit to that!

Love will be seen without in-your-face physical actions but through respect and decent gestures. It's the presence that's more important than the action. It's the action that changed harmless straight to homophobic or even the lesbians would hate us too. Moderation is very respectful sometimes and people can see your love in your eyes more than anything else and that is the beautiful part of it. People see and respect love!

I don't want to say I love to someone when I have none to give. My expression of love must come from somewhere real inside my heart. Otherwise, I would say. . . . ."I lust you!".

BOYbum